Joining Generations in a Cemetery
When we stroll through old country cemeteries searching for specific graves where our forefathers and foremothers are buried, some of us may be seeking more information on our family roots–our heritage.
Grave markers can provide insight into the history of our families and can help us commemorate the life of those who have gone before us.
I believe we need to remember and honor our loved ones who have lived before us. On a recent fall day I had a memorable adventure and did just that. I had come from another state hoping my daughter could help me locate the burial place of my maternal grandmother in Southern Alabama. After driving a while, we finally located the cemetery which opened in 1856 behind a Methodist Church.
I sat in the car letting my eyes roam over the many old gravestones as my daughter walked about, winding her way among the oldest graves. She searched for a full hour as the hot sun beat down on her.
Finally, she found it–a brown-colored grave marker the exact size of a coffin, lying flat on the ground, with the inscription at the head showing Grandmother Beatrice’s name, and dates of her birth and death. My daughter waved for me to come see what she had discovered, so I walked through the uneven sandy ground to stand beside her.
I had never seen a gravestone the shape and color of my grandmother’s –there was no mold or lichen on it. Just unusual in color and shape.
But then came the biggest surprise! Beside the grave of Grandmother Beatrice were the graves of her mother, my great-grandmother Josephene born in 1863, and my great-great grandmother Malisia, born in 1814, who was Josephene’s mother-in-law. Malisia’s cement stone had crumbled into three pieces but I could read the information on it.
We had found three grandmothers when I had only been hoping to find one! Yet, I knew a bit about two of these grandma’s Christian beliefs and how they “fit” into our family line.
But I was not familiar with a Sarah born in 1832 or still another born in 1812 with our family’s last name buried near the others. Discovering facts about these women will require some online searches.
As I stood at Beatrice’s site–Mother’s mom’s grave–the grandmother I’d never known because she died shortly after I was born. I began to picture what it must have been like for my mother and dad to stand here on his very spot together those many years ago. And watch the body of her 52-year old mother lowered into the ground while Mother cuddled me, their firstborn, in her arms.
I continued to wonder about my mother’s emotions. I had been told she had come from Florida to Alabama to assist her dying mother who lived alone. I was born in her house three months later. Dr. Doughty, who had delivered Mom, delivered me and did not charge for his call. Mother must have been lonely because my dad was off in graduate school three states away and could not come for my birth. But because she died in summer, he got there for Grandmother Beatrice’s burial which was in a town some miles from her home. My parents were surely comforted to know she had gone to heaven to be with her Savior.
Grandmother had worked for a telephone company, keeping the switchboard in her house, and was known as “Central” to her customers. My mother, who had been a telephone supervisor before her marriage, continued to operate the switchboard while her mom was so sick.
Beatrice’s own mother, Josephene (“Josie”) outlived her by 16 years. For many years she managed a large farm but she also taught Bible lessons to children and adults. I had the opportunity to visit her once before she died at 86. By then she was blind, but I sat at her feet while she told me stories of her childhood and she felt my face to know how I look. The baby of 12 children, she got married at 15 and was a grandmother by age 36. Her family buried her beside her oldest daughter.
Inscribed on Josephene’s headstone are two hands clasped and both have matching sleeve cuffs. One online explanation says, “when the two clasped hands have the same cuff at the same level it can mean farewell, goodbye to earthly life and a greeting to eternal life.”
I said a silent prayer at each gravesite, thanking God for these women–my foremothers.
As we drove away from the country cemetery, I remembered a sign I had seen some years ago. “Build on your roots and heritage.” I pondered that thought for quite a while. Roots and heritage. The words tumbled over and over in my mind. Here in this unfamiliar place–a graveyard no less– I had indeed discovered some of my roots and heritage. And enjoyed an awesome day too!
When I got back home, I read again the yellowed notes and letters written some years ago about these two grandmothers by an aunt who knew them well. As I did, I was grateful for their Christian heritage which they lived out. I was blessed.
But I also recognized that when we read through family history we may find that some of our deceased relatives made wrong choices and mistakes–just like we do.
“Heritage is a person’s unique, inherited sense of family identity: the values, traditions, culture, and artifacts handed down by previous generations. We absorb a sense of our heritage throughout our lives as we observe and experience the things that make our family unique,” according to one source. 1
Have you, dear reader, considered your roots and heritage too? Have you considered thanking the Lord for your ancestors?
If you did not know your deceased relatives, visiting their gravesites may help you learn interesting facts you never knew, especially if they have epitaphs, or short sayings carved on them. Many modern gravestones include biographical details, photographs, and even quotes or poems.
Prayer: Thank You, Lord, for our parents, grandparents and other ancestors who have gone before us–for the commendable capabilities and talents they passed on to their next generations. Help us to so live that we will leave inspiring spiritual footprints for ours to follow. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.
Scriptures: Which He commanded our fathers,That they were to teach them to their children,
So that the generation to come would know, the children yet to be born, that they would arise and tell them to their children.So that they would put their confidence in God. And not forget the works of God but comply with His commandments. (Psalm 78:5b-7 NASB).
I will pour My Spirit on your descendants, and My blessing on your offspring. (Isaiah 44:3 NKJV)
Yes, even when I am old and gray-headed, O God, forsake me not, [but keep me alive] until I have declared Your mighty strength to [this] generation, and Your might and power to all that are to come. (Psalm 71:18 AMPC).
Footnote: www:familysearch.org en blog what is heritage
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